The videos of 2008

For the past 5 days, I have been attempting to write an insightful blog entry on the year that was 2008. I have deliberated, contemplated, reflected and dissected, and have finally come to the realization that the year simply isn't worth my time. 2008 was total crap on a stick, and deserves no literary concessions or romanticism. And so, I will present my review of 2008 in the form or a few video examples, which I feel best illustrate and capture the essence of the past year, in all of its craptastic splendor.

1 - Do you remember when you were a kid, and all of the science fiction shows and cartoons would refer to the year 2000 as the fantastical future? Yeah, well, we're 8 years into the 21st century now, and we STILL don't have flying cars. Instead, the brilliant minds that manage our auto industry have given us moments like this:



2 - The walking tragedy that was "W" finally reached its climax, and we have (hopefully) elected a leader who can actually speak extemporaneously (and can you BELIEVE we almost ended up with this?!). Ahh, we're going to miss him:



3 - Kwayme. Kwayme, Kwayme, Kwayme! He could have owned this city for decades. The people of the city would have taken a bullet for him. But, instead of using his power to help lead the city through it toughest times in nearly a half-century, he made things worse with his lies and other-worldly arrogance. When faced with adversity, he blamed everyone but himself, played the race card, and even after he was proven guilty, had the NERVE to say that we had set him up for a comeback. Tell me, Kwayme, what is it like to live in your head and be that delusional?! I envy you, because as the saying goes, ignorance is bliss.



With Kwame ousted, things improved quickly for our city, as you can see here:





4 - The Detroit Lions had been working towards their goal of a win-less season for decades. Finally, that hard work has paid off, and in 2008 they became the most futile team in the sport's storied 89yr history, recording a record of 0-16. We can ultimately thank a decrepit owner who's loyalty towards his poorly selected employees has solidified his spot as one of the least successful owners in professional sports history. Thank you, Mr. Ford (you have to check out a previous iteration of his Wikipedia page, HIL-arious). My suggestion to you, is to stick to what you and your family do best, build gas-guzzling car that no one wants anymore.



Let us recap, shall we? Everything sucks. The end. And I didn't even mention the worsening economy, the flawed wars that we participate in, or our continued insistence to systematically destroy our planet in 2008. No, I think I've depressed you enough for one day. Instead, I'll leave with this picture of two panda bears, to cheer you up and get you ready to take on 2009... because, hell, everyone loves cute-ass pictures of panda bears, don't they?!

(Oh, irony and symbolism, how I love thee...)

PS: Go here for my "faces of 2008" entry, over on my mother station.