On Saturday night, Detroit's 36th annual Noel Night took place, and was graced with the presence of your very humble, non-opinionated, non-sarcastic, very patient blogging friends; 30sInProgress, and D-Tales. Ah, it was such a magical night. Children young and old descended upon our fair city from all corners of the metro area for an evening filled with holiday cheer and festivities. The holiday spirit was in the air, and once again, our great city was on display for all doubters to behold. Gosh, I wish every night was Noel night!!!
Wait, I almost forgot to mention something... Noel Night 2008 was the WORST planned event EVER. And when I say ever, I mean ever ever. I mean big, hairy, donkey balls ever. I mean, who was in charge of planning?! Oh, right, it was them, sorry.
What locations were involved and what did the festivities entail? Well... let me tell you: museums and science centers and libraries and art galleries and book stores and hair salons and cafes and cathedrals and colleges and universities and women's clubs and clothing boutiques and food markets and theaters and restaurants and of course, condominiums (no holiday event is complete with a free tour of a new condominium) were all open to the public for free. Each location offered its own flavorful series of events commemorating the holiday season, including... well a WHOLE bunch of crap that I'm not even going to TRY to list because it's all here. There are too many events and performances to count. And when I say "too many to count," I mean that literally. Go ahead, try. Once I got over 100, I stabbed myself in the neck with a tounge-sharpened candy cane and let out a series of holiday-charged, colorful explicatives.
I wasn't invited to the Noel Night planning committee's meeting, but I can imagine that it went something like this:
Committee member #1: Wow. Our Noel Night event is a great boost for the city, and has been very popular for many years. It brings so many people downtown, and gives others a chance to see so many things for free that they wouldn't normally have the opportunity to see. How can we f it all up this year?Yeah, thanks, planning committee. You RUINED my Christmas! Thanks a lot! Might I offer a few suggestions? First of all, figure out the damn logistics and extend the event until midnight, AT LEAST. Maybe even make it a multi-day event, so that everyone doesn't have to miss 85% of the shit that they want to see. After all... the whole point of this event is to bring people down to the city, and to expose people to all of the great educational, cultural, and artistic venues that the city has to offer. Why limit that exposure?!
Committee member #2: Hmm. Good question. Oh! I know! Let's condense everything into just 4.5hrs, to make it impossible for any human to actually to see all of the events that they want to see! This will also help to facilitate a rushed and anxious feeling amongst our visitors, which is great because rushing through crowds of confused people is what the holidays are all about!
Committee member #3: Great idea! Let's not stop there, though. Let's also shut down a large portion of Woodward, to create gridlock on the surrounding streets, making parking nearby a huge pain in the arse!
Committee member #4: Oh, and I've been exchanging emails with Old Man Winter, so maybe I can ask him to turn the temp down about 20 degrees. That should bring more people out... especially since we're only offering the event on one night!
Committee member #1 again: Excellent work team, now let's get out there and make this happen!
Alright, I should also mention that when D-Tales and I were afforded a moment to enjoy the festivities, it was very, very nice. For a full rundown, be sure to read the latter portion of her blog entry over here.
The decorations, music, friendly people and volunteers really make this event a MUST for anyone within driving distance of the city. Just make sure that you plan ahead, because if you don't, you'll end up trampled in some back alley with reindeer hoof prints on your forehead, and no one wants that.
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