Ever since I was a red-headed little punk living in the New Haven, I've been a hockey fan. My dad and I used to watch Hockey Night in Canada together. Ahh, those were the days. Back when the Red Wings actually played against the Original Six more than once a damn season. Back when Bob Probert was getting DUIs, and before Don Cherry was a bigoted asshole. Er, no, wait, Don Cherry was always a biggoted asshole, sorry Don.
Since then, the NHL has struggled to compete with the the NFL, MLB, and even the NBA. Why, you ask? Well that's a topic for another day, but suffice to say that the commissioner, Gary Bettman, has less vision than the clowns who have been running the Big 3 into the ground. Hey, I got an idea, let's whore out the Red Wings and make them play all the new, shitty, expansion teams (which are in warm weather climates where no one gives a flying F about hockey). Oooh, great idea.
But I digress.
This is what I wanted to share with you all:
If you're not a follower of the sports world, then please allow me to fill in the blanks. First of all, Sean Avery is a complete jagass. Always has been, always will be. He is an agitator in every sense of the word. He also happens to be an excellent hockey player, but his antics have gotten him into trouble many times before. As a result, he's been traded about 6 times (including from the Wings). Secondly, the "sloppy seconds" that he's referring to is the latest of his model/celebrity girlfriends, Elisha Cuthbert, who is now dating an even better hockey player, Dion Phaneuf of the Calgary Flames.
So, who cares? Well, I care, because it's f'n hilarious. Dion Pheneuf is 5" and 20lbs bigger than Avery, and oh, by the way... fighting is still allowed in hockey. If you're near a television on February 3rd, you just might want to tune into Flames v Stars.
And yes, this is EXACTLY what the league needs to create a little buzz in the sport again.
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